Every year, we pray for God to give us a word to frame the year. We’ve done this for the past 4 years. For some reason, God always speaks that word to me and I share it with my husband and we align ourselves and our year with what God has spoken to us.

At the start of 2019, my husband and I excitedly anticipated our word, but what God gave me was a scripture.

Psalm 23:6 “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all of the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever”

What did this mean? My husband and I were a little confused. Not because we don’t believe God’s word, but we just didn’t see how this was to frame our year?

Nine days after we got this scripture, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This kind of news and the response is never straight forward.

Added to that,  my parents live in South Africa and I live in the US and the fact that I had a passport that was expiring in a few months that I could not travel with (which meant a trip to DC to renew my passport! Gotta love foreign laws right?) to see my mom made it even less straight forward!

I remember seeing a copy of the letter from the oncologist for the first time… the word “INOPERABLE” stood out like it was out of place, like this wasn’t real, it was incorrect. Surely, surely they could operate… it hit me like a ton of bricks. I spent that entire day on the sofa in a blur, wrapped in a blanket, confused and unable to function. I remember thinking, praying, asking God what I should do. God very clearly responded “rest in ME” and so slowly I started my journey of understanding what it means to rest in Him.

But greater than that, was the revelation of the scripture. God revealed to me that in the midst of this unbelievable circumstance, He is GOOD and that I should see His goodness despite everything else that I saw and would see in the coming months. The scripture He gave me said that His “GOODNESS and unfailing love” would follow me, chase, me, look for me, pursue me!! So beautiful!!

Being so far away from my parents is hard at the best of times, but this year it has been the hardest. My amazing father is almost 80 years old and lovingly caring for my mom. No matter how much I love my mom, God loves her more. MUCH MUCH more than I can possibly ever imagine.

I flew home to South Africa to find my beautiful, precious mom extremely frail, losing her hair, her body already showing the toll of various procedures and the start of chemo (that was nothing in comparison with what was to come!). It was heartbreaking to say the least, but in the midst of it all, I saw God’s goodness. WE saw God’s goodness!

God’s goodness has been all around, in the people that are praying, the people visiting my parents, the meals so lovingly and carefully prepared, the kind and thoughtful gestures (flower deliveries, books for mom to read etc), pastors coming to the house to pray with my parents, the phone calls (including one that saved her life!), being able to connect with mom and our entire family on Whatsapp (yes, God is good with technology!!), my sister and I being home with my parents twice this year, my mom’s sister visiting from Europe, finding a wonderful lady that takes care of my parents home daily, making friends during radiation treatments who stay in touch despite their own cancer battles, the oncologist who is kind enough to take my calls from the US, the list is endless.

We are so thankful for everyone that has touched our family in this year, they’ve all been beyond blessings. But we know that it is God, in His goodness that has brought people alongside us to love, encourage, speak life, believe with us, pray with us and to help practically and physically. He knows what we need and when! He is GOOD!!

I think that sometimes we expect to see God’s goodness in the big acts, the extravagant acts, the obvious, but I’ve found that if we just look for God’s goodness in everything, we find it in the most significant ways, even if it’s not obvious to anyone else. Our circumstances don’t change His goodness, but His goodness changes our circumstances!

My mom is still fighting. Her body is still fighting. It’s a rollercoaster ride, up one moment and down the next. It’s rejoicing at positive news and being heartbroken at the news that is not great. But we know that cancer does not have the power to take my moms life. The name of Jesus is above every name, including cancer!! Only God knows her day. And even on that day, He is still good!!

I’ve heard so many people talk about what a tough year 2019 has been and I know that there are people dealing with far worse things than I, but I would encourage you to look again over this year and seek out God’s goodness. Circumstances may not look good, situations may not be what we’d like, but the goodness of God is everlasting. Despite what you see, despite how you feel, despite how hard your year has been, GOD IS GOOD!!